Fri-nally

I share what's REALLY going on in my life in hopes it will help someone else who is struggling. It's not a cry for help or to be Negative Nancy. Social media posts are so superficial. Best angle, only positivity, or nothing at all. But how do you connect to people? By being AUTHENTIC and GENUINE. 

I made it through this week because of AdvoCare's Slim. I don't drink coffee and desperately needed something to get through the day. I'm not trying to sell a product, just give credit where it's due. Why do you ask?

A lot of people know I was struggling or depressed, but for some reason I feel like sharing my story. Most of you know that my parents passed about nine months apart. What people don't know was that everything came to a crashing halt 6 months later. I had to be busy all the time because I was avoiding grief. Trying to avoid dealing with life and all the changes that life threw at me that I had no control over. I wasn't taking care of myself. I would busy myself so much during the day I couldn't sleep. A friend, suggested the cause was from busyness, but I couldn't deal with the harsh reality of loneliness that grief leaves behind. When I crashed I couldn't get out of bed. It wasn't laziness. I wasn't suicidal. I ended up losing my job. I've had to peel back layers and layers of walls I built up. It took me 6 months to open up in therapy. I am pretty sure my therapist nearly fell off her chair. I hate the side effects of the medication I take but I can now fall asleep and get out of bed most days. This road hasn't been easy. God never promised an easy life, but He promised to be there with us through it all. 

Thankfully, I didn't burn my bridges with my employer and finally returned back to work this week. With it being my first full-time week in two years, I was scared. I hardly slept Sunday night. I turned the radio on during my commute. The first words I heard were - ,"You're not alone" from a song by Owl City on 104.9. it took everything I had not to lose it (I had to take a picture for my badge). A lot of my co-workers were still there and everyone was so incredibly kind and excited to see me. It was almost overwhelming.

So I drank my Slim (It has vitamins, minerals, appetite suppressant, and natural energy) twice a day with my Crystal Light (shhhh...) And I wasn't tired when I got home from work. What? I only took a nap once this week. I'm the queen of naps and sleeping whenever I feel like it. I've had a regular routine this week!

Adulting has been far from easy. Because of training, today I had to miss my Dad's bone marrow donor's wedding. Steve gave my dad another thirteen years of life because of his selfless registration to be a donor. Kim is a very lucky woman and the newest member of our family.

Grief is challenging. It's scary. It's personal and different for each relationship. It is like ocean waves. Sometimes they are a small and gentle or they are a hundred feet high and completely consume us, but the wave will pass. We have to learn how to keep hanging on to our life preserver.

"Grief is the price we pay for love."

- Queen Elizabeth II

How Do You Handle Stress?

How do you handle stress? For me personally, I don't generally handle it well. I like to say I got both of my parents' stubbornness. My sister did too. Oh, we don't stand a chance, really. My usual strategy is to be stiff-necked. That's probably one of my favorite words in the Bible. I always chuckle when I see it. Because I can relate! So, I ignore this elephant in the room. Try to pretend it isn't there, while I'm secretly stressing about the elephant. I personally picture God laughing and shaking His head, because He knows what's coming next. I then get busy. Too busy for my own good. Then I get sick from being stressed and too busy. Then I finally give in, give it to God, and it works itself out. Sometimes it's big things, sometimes it's little things. I will be honest, these last couple of months I've been incredibly stressed. I am very lucky health-wise. I've never had high cholesterol or blood pressure. But in January, February, and March, I had high readings. One day I was shaking, and my blood pressure was 119/132. For a girl that's ALWAYS 120/80ish, that's high for me! So a couple of weeks ago I went to a conference about the power of the Holy Spirit. In a small group, I asked for prayer for stress. As they prayed, I literally felt the stress leave my body. So I was intrigued when I went to my pcp last week and my blood pressure was 120/87. As my best friend Maria sometimes says, DOUBLE FIST PUMP!

I was stressed because I had a lot of loose ends for different things in my life and I've been waiting. Sometimes when you're waiting for so many different things, it can get extremely difficult. God keeps providing. I was crunching numbers recently, and for 2016, I've already surpassed my income in 2015 for my little pet sitting business! Jobs keep pouring in because of your needs and referrals.

I always talk about how God provides, but I usually say it's just what I need. I think it's because I don't want to seem greedy, like I hit the lottery. But to be honest, I'm trying to compartmentalize God, or put limits on Him. Why do I doubt? Last week, a client contacted me about a new assignment. This time next month, I'll be on assignment, a couple blocks from the beach. For FREE.

Since receiving prayer, I've been able to just let things roll off me. No, not all of my problems have been solved. My life isn't perfect. But it's definitely easier taking it to God first. I am so incredibly blessed, more than I deserve. God is good.

How do you handle your stress?

I leave you with a passage from the Bible. It's my favorite. It's a little long, but it's oh so good.

Sleep Apnea Anniversary

Maria & I - 12/31/2010

Exactly 5 years ago tonight, I had my first sleep study for sleep apnea. I was 27. I had zero energy. I didn’t have restful sleep – ever. My mother knew I stopped breathing at night in my sleep. Something had to change. I was sleeping 12-14 hours a day and felt like I was sleeping 4. It would take me 2-3 hours to mow our little yard in town. It was embarrassing. 

2015

After encouragement from her and my doctor, I had a sleep study. My breathing was so horrible that I hadn’t even put my head on my pillow when they came rushing back in to put the mask AND concentrator on. Around 4 a.m., I clearly remember waking up in a panic attack, ripping the mask off my face as fast as I could and I walked out. I wasn’t mean, I just couldn’t take it. 

Jynelle & I - 4/11/11

That day I couldn’t believe how I was so much more rested. After only 4 hours of sleep? This couldn’t be real. I had energy. I felt like a new person. I chose to use a full-face mask because I’m an open-mouth breather at night. Did you know there are HUNDREDS of masks to choose from? Neither did I? However, I liked the first one enough to stay with it. 

2016

Within a couple weeks, it only took me 45 minutes to mow the yard – front and back. Accompanying family in the hospital, I was walking yards ahead of them instead of yards behind them. IT CHANGED MY LIFE. I can now sleep 4 hours and feel rested, instead of vice versa. If I overhear people at my sleep specialist’s office, I butt in and advocate for the sleep apnea machines. I was extremely irritated with my father for choosing not to use one, because he would have benefited from it as well. I cannot control other people’s actions, only my own. I still use a c-pap machine and concentrator. Did you know it will guarantee you a third bag to carry-on the airplanes for medical reasons? It will also guarantee glares from the flight attendants/passengers for breaking the two-bag rule. I no longer have panic attacks when I use it, but rather I can’t sleep without it. Not even for a nap! Please, if you have trouble sleeping or functioning during the day, or if you think your loved one may suffer from sleep apnea, don’t stop nagging (gently encouraging). People can die from sleep apnea. So where’s the proof in the pudding? Check out my befores and afters. 

Please take the necessary steps to save your life.  

❤️‍

It's the little things.

So I went to Kroger tonight and I splurged. I discovered the white chocolate Reese's eggs. I LOVE WHITE CHOCOLATE! I'd look for them when I went out earlier this month but hadn't seen any until tonight. So I got a six pack. I go back to the client's house and anxiously try one. I can barely eat it. SAY WHAT? I feel sick. Too sweet. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Sometimes you don't realize that you are changing. Your taste buds are changing. Now if only they could not like Mexican and pizza... 🤔

❤

What's Your Biggest Struggle?

For me lately it's been finding a variety (I'm a creature of habit) and meal prepping. Also dealing with some back pain. Sometimes on social media we sugar coat things. If you are willing to share, what's your biggest struggling? 

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Conversation opened. 1 read message.

Okay, I made some tweaks to a recipe found here. If I could do things different, I'd find 1) a sauce that's lower in sodium 2) use whole-wheat flour. Originally it was gluten-free and vegan, but it simply wasn't sticking together, even with the egg. I suppose you could add Parmesan cheese, but but there's so much fat in cheese, I'm trying to stay low-dairy over-all. And I totally forgot the yeast, but I added lots of seasoning to give it more flavor. This is definitely one of those dishes that will make a messy kitchen. This is for one personal pizza, I edited the original author's quantities, but it's filling enough for 2 if you make sweet potato chips to go along with it! (just sliced, with paprika, parsley, pepper, very very little salt, very little EVOO). I could have added cheese to the crust,  This was higher in calories than I expected, but I had a lower-calorie day over-all, and still came in under 1200 calories. My personal goal (because I'm higher in weight) is around 1800, even though My Fitness Pal says over 2200. I would have also added more veggies to the toppings, but this is what I had available... Traci's Zucchini Quinoa Pizza  Ingredients 0.25 cup dry, Quinoa 0.25 cup(s), Old Fashioned Rolled Oats 1 tsp(s), Baking Powder 0.25 tsp(s), Salt, table 0.25 tsp(s), Spices - Pepper, black 1 egg, Large Egg - Generic 1 tsp(s), Peppers, sweet, red, raw 1 tsp, Italian Seasoning 0.50 cup(124g), Italian Sausage and Peppers pasta sauce 4 oz, 4 oz Chicken Breast (grilled with basil) 2 clove(s), Garlic 2 piece, low fat mozzarella string cheese 0.50 cup(s), White All Purpose Flour 1 small zucchini grated Directions Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Place the quinoa into a bowl and cover with boiling water, let sit for 5-10 mins and drain, but do not dry. Place the zucchini, quinoa, oats, baking powder, salt, egg, italian seasoning, pepper, garlic, and flour into a high powdered blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Slightly oil a pizza pan (or a cookie sheet if you wanna be fancy like I was!) and pour the "batter" onto the pan. Spread to a thin fairly uniform layer and place in the oven for 10-12 minutes. Flip the crust and cook the other side for the same amount of time. (When you flip it might break a little bit or stick, don't worry, no one said it has to be perfect!) It's going to brown a bit, that's okay. (Mine was a little thicker, tasted great.) Take the pizza crust out of the oven and get ready to add the toppings! (just sliced up string cheese - that's all I had) Spread toppings of choice and put into the oven for another 10-15 minutes until the edges start to crisp. Nutrition Facts Servings 2.0 Amount Per Serving Calories 464 % Daily Value * Total Fat 12 g 18 % Saturated Fat 28 g 141 % Monounsaturated Fat 1 g Polyunsaturated Fat 1 g Trans Fat 0 g Cholesterol 113 mg 38 % Sodium 2016 mg 84 % Potassium 201 mg 6 % Total Carbohydrate 30 g 10 % Dietary Fiber 4 g 17 % Sugars 6 g Protein 33 g 66 % Vitamin A 15 % Vitamin C 22 % Calcium 25 % Iron 16 % * The Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, so your values may change depending on your calorie needs. The values here may not be 100% accurate because the recipes have not been professionally evaluated nor have they been evaluated by the U.S. FDA.

Traci's No-Bake Energy Bites Recipe

Wait, chocolate chips for breakfast? And peanut butter? For BREAKFAST? YES, PLEASE!!!

I saw my friend and occasional trainer Tagan (TEA-GUN) post something similar to this months ago and always wanted to try it. I made some tweaks to the original recipe. With all the fat in peanut butter, the lowest fat quantity I could find was actually Skippy low-fat peanut butter. Trust me, even natural pb had too much fat in it for my goals. I added a scoop of peanut butter protein powder. OMIGOODNESS! Heaven.

When it comes to breakfast, I tend to skip it because I like to sleep as late as possible. I like to have everything ready as I run out the door. These are PERFECT.​

I found this version here. She uses coconut flakes and chia seed, but I omitted those. (I only like coconut on samoa girl scout cookies).

These delicious little no bake energy bites are the perfect healthy snack!

Prep: 10 mins Total: 10 mins

Ingredients:

• 1 cup (dry) oatmeal (I used old-fashioned oats)
• 1/2 cup peanut butter (low-fat Skippy)
• 1/2 cup ground flax seed
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips
• 1/3 cup honey or agave nectar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 scoop peanut butter protein powder
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Directions:

1. Stir all ingredients together in a medium bowl until thoroughly mixed. Cover and let chill in the refrigerator for half an hour.
2. Once chilled, roll into balls of whatever size you would like. (Mine were about 1" in diameter.) Store in an airtight container and keep refrigerated for up to 1 week.
3. Makes about 20-25 balls. (I used a cookie dough scooper but leveled it off, and rounded it in my hand to get 20-ish balls.)

Nutrition Facts Servings 20.0 Amount Per Serving calories 93 % Daily Value * Total Fat 3 g 5 % Saturated Fat 1 g 6 % Monounsaturated Fat 1 g Polyunsaturated Fat 0 g Trans Fat 0 g Cholesterol 0 mg 0 % Sodium 28 mg 1 % Potassium 24 mg 1 % Total Carbohydrate 15 g 5 % Dietary Fiber 2 g 9 % Sugars 8 g Protein 3 g 6 % Vitamin A 0 % Vitamin C 0 % Calcium 4 % Iron 3 % * The Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, so your values may change depending on your calorie needs. The values here may not be 100% accurate because the recipes have not been professionally evaluated nor have they been evaluated by the U.S. FDA.

PS - THIS WAS MY 50TH BLOG POST!! WOOP WOOP!